Good Morning! Happy Tuesday.. Hope whatever you have going on today, that it goes well for ya. Here’s what you missed on today’s show.
The Morning Brain Buster:
Q. According to a new study, Americans are most afraid of this? What? (what is our biggest phobia)
Bonehead Of The Day:
Darth Vader of Star Wars fame has announced he is running for the presidency of Ukraine as a candidate for the Ukrainian Internet Party. They’ve even paid the hefty registration fee estimated at around $225,000.. At the same time, Vader also had the stones to demand a plot of land to park his space ship. You could say a couple hundred grand is a ton of money to waste.. But the party is fully committed to the cause. They even hold political press conferences decked out in full Star Wars regalia. Darth said in a statement from the Internet Party: "I alone can make an empire out of a republic, to restore former glory, to return lost territories and pride for this country.” Emperor Palpatine is probably his main financial backer.
Bonehead Of The Day #2
Chamengeni Zulu, a man eager to earn a fortune, is now without his sexual equipment thanks to a witch doctor who told him that if he let a hyena eat some of his body parts, he would experience a windfall of wealth.
Sadly, the energy of the universe was not his friend as the hyena he encountered chose to feast on his man parts.
Hopefully the hyena wasn’t laughing.. that would be rude.
Zulu said: On the 24th of March around 4am, I went to a bush where I was instructed to be naked. A hyena came to me and started eating my toes and eventually my manhood was eaten. Even though I have lost some important parts of my body, I still hope to get rich.
At least in our case, his story has turned into a wealth of entertainment for us.. Let me ask you, what dollar amount of money would be the tipping point for you to say, ok, I’ll let a hyena eat me?
Not The Way To Go About Getting A Job
Fun Fact, People don’t want to see your junk. They’re like cargo pants, they serve a purpose, but they aren’t pretty.
A Dallas man must have thought his junk was all the rage when he decided to include a picture of it with his resume and job application to Texas Workforce Solutions. What does TWS do? Funny thing, It’s a company that prepares people for the workplace.
When a 25 year old TWS employee received the email with the applicant’s resume, application and body shot she called the police. Law enforcement tracked his application, which was sent from a personal email and issued the man a ticket for obscene display or distribution. A class C misdemeanor.
TWS should have taken this as an opportunity to gain another client. This guy’s “Wiener error” should be posted around the office as an example of people who need TWS’s services.
A spokesperson for the Dallas Police Department said as far as he can tell the man is still unemployed. Here’s hoping that the picture was sent in error, but I feel sorry for the girl, it was possibly intended for. Can we all be clear. No one wants to see your business!
Hero Cop Rescues Cats
In case you missed it: A cop in Baltimore has figured out a way to be a hit with the ladies, all while just doing his job.
Twenty Six year old Jon Boyer regularly drops off stray cats and dogs he finds while on patrol to the Baltimore Animal Rescue and Care Shelter.
He said he’s always had a soft spot for animals, particularly felines.
In fact, the good looking guy gets his picture taken with the cats and posts those pictures to his facebook fan page, “I Love Jon Boyer”
Over 4,000 people have liked the man’s page, many of them women, with a number of them going so far as to propose marriage.
That’s right, this guy has become a rock star by just rescuing kittens. Pretty awesome huh?
Jane Adams (Hung) 49
Sam Huntington (Being human) 32
Taran Killam (SNL) 32
Annette O’Toole (A Mighty Wind) 62
Debbie Reynolds (Singin’ In The Rain) 82
Susan Boyle 53
Jimmy Cliff 66
Lady Antebellum’s Hillary Scott 28
WWE’s Randy Orton 34
Video Of The Day: